Some riders are very lucky to never have to face this, but all to often it’s a place I end up coming to – to sell or not to sell. I’m not sure if it’s because we tend to have a history of passing horses on in our family. When you have five to three people sharing the same horse, it’s really hard to find one that suits everyone, so after three or four years with us, we’d sell them on, usually far better educated then when we brought them, and for a much higher price!
Sort of like a long-term dealer I suppose… Anyway, back to my present situation. I’ve decided to sell Joey.
I’ve actually been putting off this decision for at least a month now – not willing to admit that for the moment, my life circumstances will simply not allow him to fit in. There are also some financial logistics that are rearing their ugly head, but it’s mainly life.
We are expecting our second baby around the end of March next year. That means I am currently three and 3/4 months pregnant, and that I haven’t ridden Joey at all for at least three months. And I don’t see how I will be able to work him consistently any time soon.
I was considering finding another rider to help train him – not a lease, but kind of a co-ownership. Though honestly, at this stage though I can’t really see that happening. I’ve inquired around, but there aren’t really any experienced riders that are interested in training up a green 4 and a half year old that don’t already have their hands full with their own mounts.
I also considered just giving him a year off, but this is where the finances came into play. We can afford to keep him, but it’s not really worth it when he’s just eating the money. And, again, I’m not even sure how long it would take for me to get back into riding with a just under two year old and a new baby. Then, once I can ride the logistics (there’s that word again..) of what to do with said babies while riding is some other headache altogether!
I have been supremely blessed as my husband has been working from home the last two years and that meant that basically I could go for a ride whenever I wanted, as long as it didn’t interfere with his work too much. I’d just leave the baby with him, and swan home when I was finished. He is talking about a new job however, so that means that in the foreseeable future, I’d have to manage the children – find a babysitter or something, or find a way to ride in the am before hubs is off to work. Neither options really seem like a go at the moment.
Particularly when you consider that I’ve had about roughly one and half years riding before falling pregnant with baby number two (not including months off for mastitis and any other numerous aliments that have come my way), and there’s every likely possibility that that might be happening again any number of times within the next however many years!
*sigh*
All of which, compounded by the stress and guilt I feel over not having enough energy to go and look after him, let alone exercise him (thank you all-day-long morning sickness!) has finally brought me around to the realization that Joey is just not the right horse for me at the moment, and I am not the right owner for him. Let’s not even go into the “feeling like I am giving up/failing him” department and leave it at that.
What has to be, has to be. While I feel some release over the resolution to a problem that has been bothering me for months now, I also feel a great deal of sadness. I really like Joey, he has taught me a lot and I really wish I could have had a better chance to bring out the potential in him. I also feel a bit… Relieved somehow. I have sort of had a niggling doubt as to whether he was the horse for me all along. Maybe I sort of knew we would never fit together. He needs time I just don’t have.
I know I could keep Joey, but ultimately, that’s not the best thing for him. I can ride him, I can train him. He’s come along quite well in the few months I have been able to work him. He’s calmed down, he’s learnt to trust me and we’ve been building on that. He’s taught me a lot about training young horses, and stretched me a lot as a rider. Unfortunately life circumstances – his and mine! – mean that we have to part ways now.
I’m okay with that.
“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” ― Ernest Hemingway ”
See ya,
bonita
