Equine Lingo – a break down

Important Horse Terminology:

Event Prospect = Big Fast Horse
Dressage Prospect = Big Slow Horse
Hack Prospect = Pretty Color
Sporting Prospect = Short Fast Horse
Barrel Prospect = Fast Horse which can turn
Endurance Prospect = Fast Horse which will turn sometimes
Flashy = White Socks
Stunning= Makes you say "Good god, is that thing a horse?!"
Attractive = Bay
15.2hh = 14.3hhh
16.2hh = 15.3hh
To Loving Home Only = Expensive
To Show Home Only = Very Expensive
Needs Experienced Rider = Potentially Lethal
Elegant = Thin
In Good Condition = Foundered
Free Moving = Bolts
Very Responsive= Sit still and hold on tight
Rescue horse= most likely crazy, dangerous and untrusting
Quiet = Lame in Both Front Legs
Dead Quiet = Lame in All Four Legs
Good in Traffic (Bombproof) = Lame all Round, Deaf and Blind
Loves Children = Kicks and Bites
Kids horse= Stubborn and never moves
Pony Type = Small and Hairy and stubborn
Arab Type = Looks startled
TB Type = Looks Terrified
Quarter Horse Type = Fat
Warmblood Type = Big and Hairy
Draught Type = Big and Exceedingly Hairy
Easy to Catch = Very Old
Great prospect= Spoiled pasture pet
Great Project horse= Dangerous and time consuming
Greenbroke= Someone once sat on it
Very people friendly= Thinks it's a dog
Best when lounged first= This horse is a ticking energy bomb
Must Sell = Wife has left home and taking kids
All Offers Considered = I am in Traction for 6 months
Reluctant Sale = Comes with Title Deeds to Sydney Harbor Bridge

As found on Tales of Terror, Disgust and Amusement: My Life as an Equestrian – click for the rest of this hilarious post – Things that only horse people find funny.

See ya,

bonita

Best photo bomb ever!

Guys have you seen this picture?  Totally faked, but totally hilarious none the less!   Lolz!  > U <

See ya,

bonita

Stuff Riders Say…

Funny!

Seriously hilarious.  I was ROTFLMAO…  > U <

See ya!

bonita

Guest Post from The Many Adventures of Lauren

Of course there's a box turtle in the pasture....

I was turning Pumpkin out today and had to cross through another pasture to return him to his gate. On the way through, I nearly tripped over a box turtle who was slowly migrating his way... somewhere...

I definitely did an equine-style "spook" in place, the only thing missing was a loud exhalation of air through my nose. I assured myself he wasn't a snapper and put Pumpkin back in his place.

On the way back, I stopped for a moment and pondered the inner thought process of the turtle... why was he there? Where was he headed? Why did he have mud all over his shell?

You know, typical "I work alone" type things.

After I walked away, Pete meandered over to see what I had been looking at. (Who says horses aren't smart?)

I wish I'd had my phone with me to try to video the following scene, but it was inside on the charger, so you'll have to imagine it.
Remember, box turtle. Approximately 9" long.

Horse, nearly 16 hands tall and about 1200 lbs.

Turtle: *sits on ground, looking curiously around*
Horse: *sees turtle, meanders over with nose close to ground.*
Turtle: *sees horse approaching, snaps head back in shell*
Horse: *startles in surprise that this new rock-like thing moves, snorts.*
Turtle: *waits a few seconds and then cautiously peeks head back out*
Horse: *watches warily as turtle puts head back out*
Turtle: *cautiously takes a look around*
Horse: *snorts at moving turtle*
Turtle: *pulls head back in shell in response to loud noise*
Horse: *spooks at quick movement from turtle*
Turtle: *sits motionless on the ground*
Horse: *musters up his courage and moves infinitesimally closer to turtle*
Turtle: *slowly begins to look out from underneath his shell again*
Horse: *eyeballs turtle from new, minutely closer position*
Turtle: *notices horse closer to him, snaps head back in shell*
Horse: *spooks at quick movement from turtle, backs up to former position, a slightly safer distance from scarymovingrockthing*
Turtle: *sits on ground*
Horse: *moves head- but not feet- slightly closer to turtle*
Turtle: *doesn't move*
Horse: *blows warily at unmovingrockthing*
Turtle: *assumes rock-like position*
Horse: *thiiiiinks about moving one toe in the general direction of unmoving-at-the-moment-but-could-do-something-crazy-at-any-moment-rock-thing*
Turtle: *still as stone*
Horse: *moves head up and down, trying to get a good sense of what scary-not-moving-rockthing might be up to.*
Turtle: *still hiding in shell*
Horse: *snorts loudly at turtle, challenging him to a showdown*
Turtle: *doesn't move*
Horse: *inches closer... freezes....BOLTS*
Turtle: *#winner*
Who says horses...aren't... smart...   never mind….

….Seriously go and check out the rest of this lady’s blog ~ her escapades are interesting, her training tales useful and boy, can she ever tell a funny pony tale!!  You can find Lauren at The Many Adventures of Lauren. 

See ya!

bonita